i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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