You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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