found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
