Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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