I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
