Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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