i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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