Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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