to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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