All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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