Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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