"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
