I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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