Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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