I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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