The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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