I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
