God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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