she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
