here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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