whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
