none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm passing your future prison.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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