Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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