PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
