it was like his penis was on wheels.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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