That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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