So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
