All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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