$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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