Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
