Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
