i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
