Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
