I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
