You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
