Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
