Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
