We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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