..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
