Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
