bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
