My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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