Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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