Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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