My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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