I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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