I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
