I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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