my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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