but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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