Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
