ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
